What would your Sign say?
I've been thinking a lot lately. Lots of reflecting on how I'm doing: comparing myself to Miss So & So or Mrs. Does Everything Perfectly, not measuring up to my own lofty goals, doing good things but not finding time for the Better & Best.
Why is it that women do this - this constant self-criticism and comparing? I know I'm not alone. Tonight, we had some good friends over for dinner... long overdue. At one point, the conversation turned to being busy. Rochelle said something to the effect that I do so much, make everything look easy, that I "do" life with such little effort.
I nearly guffawed.
I nearly guffawed.
I try my best but rarely live up to the wild expectations I create for myself. There are days that the dishes sit in the sink overnight or the laundry goes unfolded. There are days that I don't shower or get Benjamin's teeth brushed. I barely make it through each day unscathed by my haunting, daunting To-Do list. I confessed this to her and the rest of our dinner party; they were a bit shocked by my little confession.
I try my best. I do. But, my life on this blog (or Facebook or whatever) is not my real world. It's the happier portion of life that I share with the world - and I'd like to think many people do the same. There's a tinge of sugar-coating and highlighting of the good stuff. But secretly, you know there is a dark underbelly of down times, moments of despair, sad stories left untold. Everyone has them, which is precisely the reason I typically refrain from dragging everyone else through my not-so-pretty moments.
Earlier, I came upon a most amazing video. Normally, I am not a big Hilary Weeks listener (her music is nice, but not my typical genre of choice). I had heard lots of people talk about her new song, so I pulled it up on YouTube on my laptop while I was cooking dinner. And so "Beautiful Heartbreak" played as the soundtrack of my lazy Sunday afternoon as I chopped, sauteed and stirred together a lovely batch of taco soup. The music was beautiful but the words grabbed me. I felt different. I turned and watched as the images lit up the screen. The words were compelling, but the video stopped me in my tracks. Just watch it and see. The signs will get you. They will change you. They will make you look at others differently. They will help you forgive yourself, pat yourself on the back and give yourself a big hug. As Elder Uchtdorf said, they will help you to be more compassionate and patient with You.
One of my signs would say:
"I'm not perfect"
"I'm not perfect"
... and that's ok.
3 comments:
Rochelle was right...you are amazing and always take time for others even with your busy life. I think my sign would say, "A work in progress".
I compare my life to others too. I know it's not good and I'm trying to do better but it's hard! I will have to watch that video.
this is a great post. I've heard Facebook depresses people because when they only see the GOOD in everyone else's life, they think something is wrong with them. It happens. And the funny thing is, whenever people post sad things, I sorta think, "maybe you should keep that to yourself." It's weird. I have a friend whose marriage is ending now and it's kinda weird to read about it so publically.... anyway, I'm behind on blogs but I'm glad I read yours :-) PS you are awesome and I woulda said the same thing your friend said!!
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