Sunday, March 28, 2010

Nursery Banner

Let's get crafty!

Since Benjamin's birth, I haven't been able to find time to do much in the creative, crafty realm; nor have I had the "need" to. However, recently I came across a project that I absolutely had to do.

As part of the staging process, one of the things I had on my assignment/to-do list was to create some type of banner for Benjamin's room. My friend, Forrest, found some precious, antique Martha Stewart alphabet cards which she fashioned into a banner for her son's room. She was my style guru for staging our townhouse, so she showed me her banner as an example. Unfortunately, I was not able to find those same cards at Michael's, so I had to turn on the creative juices and come up with my own design.

While the Martha section at Michael's did not have colorful ABC images, they did have some adorable animal cutouts in pale blue felt. It took me several hours, over a week's time, to come up with a design that I liked - and that matched the colors of his room. In hindsight, it's fortunate that I didn't find those ABC cards because I absolutely love the finished product that was my very own creation. Below is a picture of the nursery banner, hanging above his crib.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Hello, World!

7 Months and Crawling...
Benjamin turned 7 months two weeks ago and I am finally finding time to throw up some pictures and info, just for all of those inquiring minds.

There are no doctor appointment for a 7-month old - although we had to do a follow-up H1N1 shot - so I don't have specific stats on height & weight. I did weigh him on our home scale and our little heavyweight is now 18.4 pounds! As for length, I'm really not sure. At the last appointment, he measured 28" but the kid is growing like a weed. I know clothing sizes are not the best indication of correct measurements, but he is wearing 9 & 12-mo clothes. In fact, Dave's mom couldn't get the closures to come together on a 12-month outfit today! And yet, he is still so skinny that I can squeeze him into some 3-mo onesies... but not for long!


Anyway, the big news is that our little dude started to crawl this week. And climb. The last few weeks have included lots of rocking on hands & knees, backwards crawling, double-kneed scooting and lots of whole-hearted lunging when he gets frustrated and wants to move forward. But, people, it's a brave new world this week: we've found Crawling.
That's. Just. Crazy.

Seriously, what have we gotten ourselves into? He is all over the place now that he's discovered the Wide World of Mobility. What are parents to do? But, yet, it's also a beautiful and exciting new phase of development to check off the list.

Atta boy, Benjamin!

Now, you'll have to excuse him. He's had a long day of crawling and discovering his ever-increasing world. Time to kick back, relax and drink some dinner.

Introspection Thursday - Being Mom

Just watched the movie "Motherhood" the other day. It depicts the life of a married, mother-of two who lives in a noisy, crowded Manhattan walk-up. Her life is equal parts messy and joyful, with a cup of crazy & a dash of regret mixed in, for good measure. And that pretty much encapsulates how I've been feeling lately.

Here's a thought-provoking monologue from the movie, which I have savored:
Motherhood is about accepting the limitations of time and energy, which stretch beyond you; even if sometimes it feels they could consume you.

Search for and hold on to your own true self. If you lose that, what kind of mother can you be?

Things are always changing, no matter how much we might want things to stay the same.

You could take a picture of your kids every single day, and every single day, they'd just be getting older.

That's a fact.

A heart-breaking fact.

But, still a fact.

So seize your days and dwell in them fully.

Look to your children because they know how to inhabit brief periods of time with extreme passion… and for nothing more, really, than the sake of those moments. They can help you remember that if you only slow down and let them.

Feel fortunate because chances are good - you actually might be.


For some reason, this little snippet from a mediocre movie script spoke volumes to me on a day I was feeling a wellspring of emotions. While hearing Uma Thurman's voiceover, as she typed this entry into her blog (in the movie), my perspective began to shift.

And after thinking about it for only a second, I do feel fortunate... because I know I truly am.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

On Pain

"Pain pays the income of each precious thing." ~Shakespeare
Today, I was sitting in a cancer conference where we discuss treatment options for the various patients that come into the hospital. Many of those sick people experience enormous amounts of pain, so they invited a pain specialist to talk about the latest strategies for combatting chronic pain issues.

The pain specialist presented a patient he is treating for multiple myeloma (the cancer my mom has); the guy was wheelchair bound due to multiple fractures in his spine. The specialist described an amazing new tool that assist with chronic pain called the Stimulator. However, he got a bit cheeky in his PowerPoint presentation, pasting an I-Pod interface onto the pacemaker-like tool and called it I-Stim. Doctors do have a sense of humor after all!

While listening to his presentation, I learned some other interesting factoids. One being that when you hit your finger with a hammer, shaking it actually has significant physiological benefits. The shaking actually releases something very scholarly & impressive-sounding (read: I have no idea how to spell it) that quickly sends a message to your nervous system to shut down the pain transmitters.

So, the "knee-jerk reaction" to shaking that finger as it is completely throbbing is not just a physical reaction to a painful episode; it is your body's way to magically and automatically cope with the pain response.

Isn't the body an amazing thing? I love my job because I learn something absolutely interesting every day!

Monday, March 15, 2010

An Impending Spring

Spring is about to, well, SPRING! The cherry blossoms are popping, the robins are singing and the longer days are returning.

With a strong El NiƱo effect this year, it seems as if the drifting snows and freezing cold of winter have simply passed us by, which is really fine by me. I’m ready to ditch the sweaters, wool coats and scarves for the cute spring dresses, flippy sandals and fun shorts. Well, maybe not shorts yet – but the high today is supposed to climb to a tropical 60 degrees Fahrenheit!

With less than a week until the true start of spring, the newness and excitement of this season always inspires me to get moving. And yes, you guessed it – a lovely list always follows said inspiration.

Things on my Spring To-Do List:

  • Do the Spring Cleaning thing – no brainer that this tops the list.
  • Register for the Tulip Run, though still not sure if I’m doing the 5-mile gut-buster or wimping out with the 2-mile fun run. Training was sadly derailed by my bum knee last month, so we’ll see.
  • Jumpstart date night. We’ve been in a rut lately (read: RedBox), so I need to come up with some good, new ideas to get us out of the house… and babysitters!
  • Sign up for swim classes with Benjamin. I’m strangely excited to do this “to-do” that requires me to don dreaded swimsuit. Go figure.
  • Stage the house: a work in progress. I’ve decided that it’s quite fortunate I didn’t go into interior decorating for a career, as my 6th grade soul so desired to do. I’m so not good at this stuff and can only give mad props to a sweet friend that laid out intricate plans to help a design dummy get her house ready for sale.
  • Continue house hunting. We’ve been at this for several weeks now, and we have yet to find the perfect house, yard, neighborhood and ward combination. What’s been even more discouraging and disheartening is the state of many of the homes that are in foreclosure: broken windows; toilets labeled “Danger”; torn and mismatched carpet; molding, gooey bathrooms; weird remodels; strange carpet stains; offensive orange-painted kitchens (yes, plural). Oh, the tales I could tell. Anyone that knows where the perfect combo is sitting, please send the listing my way – it would be most helpful.
  • Sell all of our unwanted stuff on craigslist
  • Buy a child carrier for our summer of hiking & camping adventures. Last year, my single outdoor adventure was backpacking less than a mile, doing the blue tarp camping thing and spending the entire night awake, as my 7-month belly and a continual downpour robbed me of a single moment of sleep. This year will definitely be better.
  • Discover new pureed recipes for Benjamin. I made some pureed carrots and froze them last week – they turned out great. With our weekly organic produce delivery, I have an ample supply of goodies to choose from, so he should eat very well.
  • Discover new recipes for us. With all of the produce we get, as mentioned above, I have had to become more creative in my cooking, while using up all of that beautiful produce. We’ve dined on gorgeous grapefruits for breakfast and huge salads for lunch. Sunday was the best – beef stew filled with carrots, fingerling potatoes, garlic, parsnips, onions, green beans and corn. The hearty meal was topped off by homemade whole wheat rolls that simply melt in your mouth. Good days, good food.
  • Start thinking of ideas for Benjamin’s first birthday – I know it’s a ways off, but spring is nearly here, which means his birthday will be here before we know it!
  • Gear up for General Conference. Always look forward to the pearls of wisdom that are offered up every six months… plus, church in pjs is the way to go.
  • Prepare for Benjamin’s first Easter – just think of all the cute outfits that could later become fodder for blackmail. I’m really looking forward to the next year or two when he starts to understand the fun of holidays, but for now the pastel pinafore and matching bonnet will have to do.

I better stop listing to-do items before the spring list gets any bigger. You'll have to excuse me - as you can see, I have a lot to do today!

Sunday, March 07, 2010

The Incident: Michelle's Take

Now that Fast Sunday has rolled around again, we've hit the one-month anniversary of "The Incident"... so, I think it's time to share my side of the story. It's a doozy and loopy mess of confusion, so hold on.

If you look back on my February 6th post, I mentioned what a great day I had had. After a brunch birthday party with close friends, I spent the rest of the day doing stuff around the house and playing with Benjamin. It was a really good day... until dinner time.

Dave and his friend, Bret had taken off around 6am to go "play in the snow" and try out Dave's new snowshoes up on Snoqualmie Pass. They also took climbing gear, but Dave told me they were just going to scout out some future ice climbing routes. Besides, we had to skip our date night on Friday, so Dave promised he'd be home in time to do something with me on Saturday night. This meant they'd be home in the late afternoon, or at the very latest - dinner time.

When they didn't show up at 5, I got a little inpatient. 6pm, a little mad. 7pm, worried. And at 8pm, I got very worried. I had called his cell phone a couple of times, but the call went straight to voicemail and I didn't want to leave a message, acting like the crazy, angry housewife that's nagging him to get home, already. Around 8, I didn't care if I won the Nag of the Year award, and I actually left a message, something to the effect of "You're not home and I am SUPER worried. WHERE ARE YOU??!!" At 9pm, I was totally freaking out. I had not heard a word and it had been dark for a couple of hours at that point; Snoqualmie is only about 90 minutes away, so they were either eating a very late dinner and being very rude to their patient wives -OR - something bad-bad-bad had happened. I was praying that it would be the former, and I'd chew him out for being so late and being so rude for not calling. Shortly before 9, I started calling around to friends and family in 4th ward, where Bret & his family live. I needed to get a hold of his wife, Jessica, but didn't have their number. Calling her confirmed my worst fear - she had not heard from Bret and she was as worried as me.

At this point, horrible and completely awful scenarios starting dancing in my head. Plus, I didn't know how to report a missing husband - and all I knew was he was on Snoqualmie Pass and was NOT prepared for a night out in the cold, snowy mountains. Normally, Jessica & I know exactly where our adventure-seeking duo is going, what they're doing and when they will be back. In this sitution, we knew nothing and it was my worst nightmare playing out on that Saturday night. This was the Trifecta of Bad Scenarios, my friends.

As I was talking with Jessica, I started googling for answers. What a freakish, surreal thing to do; I can't recall with certainty, but do remember that I typed something like "1-800-Search&Rescue". Which, by the way, is not the way to get a hold of the wilderness rescuers. And while it may sound silly, I was a bit out of my mind - but I knew I needed to start the ball rolling. I deliberated calling my in-laws because I didn't want to freak them out. But, considering I was already in that state, I figured I could use the company. Plus, Dave's dad has had his fair share of wilderness experiences, so I was hoping that he could come up with something better than the 1-800 idea. I did find a website for Search & Rescue, but the office closes at 5pm. In the end, I dialed 911 - unfortunately, on purpose - and reported that my husband was missing. For the record, that phrase was one of the most sad and debilitating things I have ever had to utter.

What followed was like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, on some serious speed. I honestly felt like I was having out of body experiences at times, but perhaps that is because I basically stopped functioning, except to answer my phone. I had the brunch food around 11am, and didn't eat anything the rest of that day. Not smart, but I was busy with a potentially life-altering crisis... so a sandwich didn't sound so good.

Upon urging from my mother-in-law, I made the 911 call around 9m. After being transferred a half dozen times, I ended up on the phone with a woman named Lisa from Emergency Response in King County. One of the most awful things was when Lisa asked where they were. I had no idea. I told her what I knew and she then gave me some investigative assignments. She asked me for the license or VIN number, neither of which I knew. I scoured through files until I found his vehicle registration, which had both items. Then she said to scour our home & work computer histories, to try to find links to potential search options. That yielded nothing, so I sent his parents over to the office to look at his computer. His Friday history had tons of links, which helped us narrow it down the Alpental Ski area and three different peaks. A short time later, his parents called back and found one link on Saturday morning - it was a place called Chair Peak. Dave said he had to stop by his parent's house to pick up some gear, so I was happy to see he swung by the office (minutes from their house) to make his final selection; that link was the key to finding his ultimate location.

At 9:30, two state patrol units were alerted and searching for his car (two different counties at Snoqualmie), ski patrols were dispatched to look for them, and Search & Rescue were on the case, as well. And they considered sending out some helicopters, but the weather was not cooperating. One good thing was that they found the Audi in the Alpental parking lot, so they knew they were in the right place, for sure.

At some point, my mother-in-law came over. She was a mess, I was a mess - and we both knew that neither of us would be sleeping much that night. Lisa, the Emergency line lady, called from her personal cell phone to tell me she was going home for the night. Then she asked if I was related to Ben Goodwin, to which I said yes and he was sitting right there, asking to speak to the Emergency folks. I handed him the phone, saying that the lady knew him. As a side note, everyone knows my father-in-law; seriously, everywhere we go, someone knows him! Anyway, they chatted for a couple of minutes. Apparently, she is in my in-laws ward and is the visiting teacher for Kathleen, my mother-in-law. Wild, huh?

Shortly thereafter, I called my parents because they were coming for dinner the next day; I didn't want to call and upset them, so I made it sound really nonchalant - which upset them that I sounded so calm about Dave being lost in the wilderness. My dad being my dad, he called every member of our immediate family, as well as all of my aunts & uncles, on both sides. I also had to call our bishop and let him know Dave wouldn't be at his meetings the next day - and then had to explain why, which sent me over the edge. The bishop contacted the stake president, which started a snowball communication - by morning, the entire stake knew about the situation and each ward was asked to fast for two men in our stake that were lost in the mountains. And all of my extended family was alerted, so the vast number of people fasting and praying for these guys was astounding.

Rewind to Saturday night. Kathleen & I sat in our living room; she was on the couch and I was in a lump on the floor. We didn't talk much, except when calls came in... and then we were just stifling the waterworks. From 9:30pm-2:30am, I received calls about every 10-15 minutes, usually from Search & Rescue for more details. When S&R asked what they were wearing, I almost starting laughing; how was I supposed to know when he left while I was still sleeping? But then, I remembered that I knew exactly what he'd be wearing because I know way too much about all of his gear. I do have to apologize to Bret; I made him taller, fatter and younger than I thought he was, and thought he was carrying his wife's red backpack. I also got calls from family and others that were concerned about the situation; I could barely talk, and usually had to hang up because I couldn't get anything verbal out except sobs. I was so lucky to get Benjamin down to sleep before the chaos started. If not, I think I would have totally lost it. I did check on him a couple of times, just so that I could clear my mind and pray.

At one point, S&R called and said they ran into two climbing groups, both of which had seen our guys climbing Chair Peak that day. In fact, one guy had climbed with them. This was awesome news and horrible news; awesome, because we had a better idea of their location, but horrible because they had decided to summit a mountain without preparing to do so.

Prayer was an amazing blessing and comfort - as was the Holy Ghost. As I laid on the floor and braced for the call that would deliver bad news, I said a continuous, pleading prayer. While I could have sunk into deep despair, a marquee-like message scrolled across my brain continually, reading: "It's Going to be OK." I didn't know if that meant Dave would be ok, or if Benjamin & I would be ok, but it gave me a certain sense of peace. At 2:30am, the man from Search & Rescue rang my phone, saying that they were calling off the search for the night but would resume at 7am. Kathleen & I later said it was devastating to hear that phrase, "calling off the search", but we understood the searchers would need to sleep.

I think Benjamin woke up around that time and Kathleen fed him, while I stared catatonically at nothing. I felt totally helpless and totally numb. I started to doubt the marquee message and let my mind wander to images of steep cliffs and snowy scenes. Benjamin went down to sleep and a couple hours later, I finally succumbed to the fatigue. Shortly before my wake-up call, I had a dream. I never dream, or at least, I never remember them. The dream was short, but it was an image of them walking out of the woods, safe and well. I woke up a short time later, hoping that that dream would be reality, but fearing that it was just a hopeful dream, and nothing else.

Jeff, the S&R guy, started the calls again that next morning. They asked more questions, advised me about weather issues and gave updates about any new info. Some of the searchers found tracks, but they were not snowshoe tracks - and I was adamant that they would have been using them. Chad, the 1st counselor in the bishopric, called and wanted to come over to talk about how to handle this in church. He wanted to do a ward fast, but I was hesitant because I knew Dave wouldn't want people to worry. Chad responded, "Dave's not here so we're doing it!" I figured the more people praying and fasting, the better - but I wanted to think about it a bit. We also got a call from S&R - the news media had been alerted of the situation and they wanted to know if we could disclose names. The family answer was "no way". Shortly after that, Linda came over with food. She is an angel straight from heaven - and she brought her delicious pumpkin mini muffins, which I will eat even if I'm not hungry. I didn't realize how hungry I was by then - I think I ate about 15.

At that point, my parents, Kathleen, Aubri (my brother-in-law, Jon's girlfriend), Benjamin and I were all huddled in our living room, waiting for the next call. Jon & my father-in-law decided to drive up to Snoqualmie. In case they found him, one of them could drive the Audi back down the mountain. While someone was playing with Benjamin, I fell asleep for a little while... until the next phone call.

The timing of events after this point is a bit sketchy, but just bare with me. Our church started at 12:30pm and Chad asked me to text him, letting him know about my decision. I sent him a text shortly before the meeting, giving him the thumbs up. Around 1pm, Jessica called me (we'd been talking pretty frequently all night, as I was the contact with S&R); she said she got a call from Bret that was short and cryptic; he said, "We're out" - but then the phone cut out. Everyone got excited, but we were all still a bit wary because we didn't know what that meant exactly... or where they were. Called S&R to update them, and they contacted Verizon to see if they could ping the phone. ~15 later, Dave called me. He said, "Get Benjamin ready, pack him in the car and get up to the Denny Creek trailhead." I almost started laughing & crying because there were so many people up there already; S&R, ski patrol and his family. I quickly sent Chad a text that they were ok, which apparently caused a huge, collective sigh of relief as he announced it over the pulpit in sacrament meeting. It took a bit of time to figure out where they were (they were up at Lake Melakwa when they called, not at the trailhead), but S&R finally found them as they were 20 minutes away from the parking lot.

Calls were made to all of the family and friends; my dad called his bishop, who ran around to all of the classrooms to herald the good news. Apparently, you could literally hear cheering throughout their whole building. But then, we just had to sit and wait. After that call from Dave, we didn't hear anything again until 3pm. That was just agonizing. We didn't know their condition, but after S&R got them to the cars and hauled them back up to Alpental, they had to be checked out by doctors and then did an interview with Komo4 news. Apparently, there were 4 different new station trucks up there, complete with the fancy satellite dishes - but Komo got to break the story, and the others just filmed from their vantage point.

At 5pm, they were home. Jessica and her girls came to pick up Bret and I met Dave in the parking lot. He looked dirty, unshaven, tired and had a cut on his chin from a falling ice tool. Still, I have never been more happier to see him.... never. After watching the news and eating a huge meal of KFC, the family sat and chatted. As we were changing to go to the ER to get him sewn up, Mark and Linda brought steaks, peas, salad and some other wonderful food. After such a crazy, intense 24-hours, we both needed a good piece of meat. Thank goodness for wonderful family, friends and total strangers that supported us during a terribly scary, traumatic experience.

As we were driving to the hospital, Dave & I talked a lot. From this experience, I learned some powerful lessons and he learned some powerful lessons, lessons that are private and sacred to us. But there is one little thing I will share with you. Remember that link that they found on his computer, which was our saving grace for finding him? I said it was so fortunate he went in to the office that morning, and looked at that site; it was the key to finding him. He looked at me intently and said, "I never went to the office that day." Neither of us knows how it got there and by the time he checked on Monday, it was filed under Last Week. However that little piece of information got on to his computer's memory, we will never know. I chalk it up as a tender mercy, a great blessing and a mighty miracle for our family.

I'm so grateful that prayers were answered and he got home safely - and for all of the support, blessings and love that were showered on us a month ago. And yes, for those wondering, he gets to go out again; he just has to tell me where he's going next time!