The Evolution of Friendship

“We cannot tell the exact moment a friendship is formed; as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over. - Unknown”

When I was a kid, we moved a lot and I had a hard time making friends. After we settled into one town for a few years, Sammy & I became friends. A beautiful, blonde and carefree girl, she was the ‘sassy & popular’ to my ‘shy & sweet’. Her mom was the coolest mom on the block, her huge German shepherd named Kong scared me to death and her huge, cabin-like house amazed me. Geared with a plastic flower basket, my yellow, banana-seated Schwinn would get me to her house in 3 minutes flat. In my book, she received the superlative designation of “best friend”.

Spending every waking moment together is the duty of a best friend (or at least it was at the age of 8). We spent hours taking rides on her dad’s snowmobile, running through the fields next to her house, curling each other’s hair and dressing alike for annual school picture day. There were other girls that I called my friends: Katy, Shawnie and JoJo would meet up with us at school to play jump rope games and chase the boys in the playground. They were fun, but Sammy & I were best friends. In my childhood naiveté, I thought that label could only be conferred to one person.

Fortunately, I have grown up a little since those days. While the term “best” is rather nebulous, it’s possible to have many close friends. In hindsight, it amazes me to see the way these powerful relationships have developed and evolved in my life. Some were the result of chance, such as my freshman roommate who was randomly assigned by some committee of dorm leaders. One was a co-worker who turned out to be my long, lost twin. Others have come from introductions by mutual friends. One was the result of a visiting teaching assignment – if not for that, I would never have known her. At times, I think, “How did I ever get along without ____?”

I guess what I’m trying to say, in a rather rambling manner, is that I am grateful for each of my friends. Although I sometimes wonder how I deserve the association of such remarkable women, I love the blessing of having a wide circle because each interaction blesses my life in distinctive ways. My only hope is that I am returning the favor.