Ruminations on A Blustery Day

Today I went for a walk.

I've had a lot on my mind, and I figured the combo of some fresh air and exercise would do wonders for my psyche.

Last year, I got laid off from my job.  A job I loved, I might add.  I'd been there for exactly 9 years, the month the layoff occurred.

For the last sixteen months, I have had a tough time managing this turn of events; it's been so much harder than I could have imagined.  Nine years is a long time to be at one workplace, and losing that job and my career was a big blow.  I have been uncharacteristically emotional because, let's be honest, a loss of this magnitude is equal parts scary and sad.  If I am being brutally honest with myself, I've been depressed.  For sixteen months.   That's a long time to be sad.

And yet, there is always hope in what lies ahead.  When there's nothing else, there is always hope.  I'm trying to get that mantra running through my head and to make it stick.

So, I've wandered around trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  A few days ago, I had a little mental breakdown and Dave gave me a simple, yet valuable suggestion.  He said "go and do some things you love".  And I remembered this little blog of mine.  It's been years since I was blogging consistently, and I think it's time to get back to it.

I wanted to be a writer when I grew up, but I've always had this feeling that my skills were fairly mediocre. When I was in sixth grade, I won a place in a Seattle youth writer's workshop - by default. The winner from my school couldn't go, so I was the alternate.  The back-up plan.  It didn't feel great to be the back-up plan, but I enjoyed the experience nonetheless.

Well, I have hope now - hope in back-up plans.  I just have to figure out what my back-up plan is... maybe it's writing, maybe not.  But, I do think I have some important things to say; if nothing else, they're important to me.  And hopefully, my writing will be a little better than mediocre this time around (fingers crossed).